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Monday, July 25, 2005

Arguments with Women 101

Okay, no matter who you are, who you're dating, you're going to encounter an arguement with a woman at some point in your life. You don't need to NEXT her just because you got into an arguement with her, you just need to handle it properly (even if she started it). Most AFCs will almost immediately break down and say, "Okay, it's my fault. I'm sorry". The problem is they do this even if it isn't their fault.

The only exception to handling arguements is if they're frequently happening. If she starts an arguement everytime you're with her, it's in your best interest to NEXT her. If you're always starting the arguements, you may want to re-evaluate yourself, or the woman you're with.

There's a few things you need to remember when arguing with a woman:

1. You're not going to make her happy

Trying to make a woman happy during an arguement is impossible. No matter how much you apologize, kiss ass, or cry, she's gonna be pissed off. Face it, and deal with it.

2. Stand your ground and keep your opinions

If you're swaying between what you believe, and what your opinions are, you're not going to get anywhere. Don't change where you stand, or you're going to be looked upon as "weak". Women hate weak men!

3. Don't let her change the subject

When women are in the wrong (and they know they are), they'll try to change the subject on you. They may bring up stupid things you did in the past. The past isn't the issue, the present is. Deal with the issue at hand, or else your arguement is going to go nowhere.

4. Don't give into her childish behavior

Women who don't get their own way behave like children. She's gonna cry, she's gonna slam doors, or even threaten to leave. Women like speaking with actions, and they know it works. If she leaves the room, remain seated. She'll come back. If she leaves the house, she'll phone. Women need closure, and they'll most likely come back for it.

5. Remain Calm

Avoid getting into a screaming match with her. No matter how pissed off she is, keep your voice at a decent tone, but be firm. Women highly respect men who have control over their emotions.

6. Agree to their threats

They hate this. If she says, "Fine, you're not getting any tonight", just respond with, "That's fine". If she says, "I'm leaving", just say "Okay". They'll see that their threats aren't working, and completely go back on them. She won't go anywhere, and you WILL get some. If you want to take it a step further: when she's in the mood for sex later that day, tell her you're tired and you need to go to bed. Occasionally turning down sex keeps you in control of the relationship.

When you're pointing out something she did wrong, she won't let you know when she realizes what she did. She'll keep it hidden for the sole purpose of trying to get you to break down. Keep working at it and she'll eventually collapse. She won't immediately come out and say "I'm Sorry", but she'll say something like, "Okay, I understand". That's when you back off.

In some arguements, a power struggle will occur. A power struggle is when one person tries to take control over the relationship. Hopefully, you had the control over the relationship in the beginning, because trying to take the control from the woman is difficult, almost impossible. Whatever you do, don't give her control over the relationship. You MUST keep it! When women gain control over the relationship, all goes to hell. You immediately get filed under "weak" which is a complete turnoff.

There's a thin line between control over the relationship, and control over one's life. You control the relationship when you are the one who makes the final decisions, and decides the direction of the relationship. You control a person when you force them to behave and act the way you want. Avoid doing this.

You may not realize it, but women NEED to argue. They thrive on changes of emotions. They need their emotional rollercoaster ride. Being happy all the time is too boring. That's why they get miserable for no reason, they need to! You can let her have her emotional rollercoaster ride, but you don't need to join her.

If you've remained calm and confident, and stuck to your grounds, her respect for you will remain high.


Blogger DCdramaGrrls said...

Luv your advice! You really arent too far off on what you are saying. As an occasional arguer, I suggest one additional thing - Listen to what she is saying (or yelling), don't walk away, stay calm and in a soft voice say, you are sorry she is upset and you don't know what to say to make her feel better, and keep listening.

Most of the time we are just venting and want to be heard out.

This also goes for the times we come home bitching about work, friends, etc. We really arent looking for you to solve things --> just to hear us out.

If you can do this, you are a patient good man deserving of our respect. We'll think twice about yelling next time.

After things have cooled off, I also think its a good idea to bring up the fact you didnt like how she spoke to you, handled the situation, etc. (we will take what you say under advisement for future use)

* just some grrly secrets to living w/ us *


6:27 PM

Blogger Cleveland Park Men's Club said...

Great stuff. It's almost like how you have to treat women bloggers.

Great writing style.

6:37 AM


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